ROBIN CONNELL

At the time I decided to join MRS as a settlement volunteer, public opinion about refugees, particularly asylum seekers, was very distorted. Joining MRS seemed the perfect way to show that there are Australians who care about people who come to our country from places of war torn strife and disadvantage, looking for a new start in a land of opportunity and peace.

My training program with MRS, and the follow up meetings and functions I've attended, have been a totally inspirational experience for me. I've met average Aussies from all walks of life who are dedicated to giving up their time and energy to support what, I believe, is one of the most innovative and creative volunteer program around. It showed me that there are many, many Australians who DO care about all people - no matter what their circumstances, or from where they hail.

I will talk about my second placement - a young African family of a Mum, with two sons, 10 and 4, and a daughter, 11, and in the first few weeks of my placement, a brand new baby girl.

When I was first introduced to the family, Mum was very pregnant, and very despondent. She'd been in Australia for about 4 months, and had found quite a nice flat in Blacktown, but it was on the top floor with four flights of stairs (no lift), and her partner was back in the camp in Guinea, where she had left him. She was missing him terribly, and while the children were a great support to her - to be honest, I've never seen such supportive and well behaved children - the late stage of her pregnancy, the upheaval of moving to a new country, the uncertainties of new settlement, all placed an enormous burden on her physically and emotionally.

In the next few weeks I visited her about two or three times, and made many phone calls, discussing imminent issues such as care of the children when she went into hospital, baby furniture and clothing, relevant paperwork to send back to Africa to try and get her partner out to Australia and just trying to be a caring person who she could contact for a bit of moral support. While English is the second language spoken in her country, Mum and I were at cross purposes on some points - quite a few actually. As we do in Australia, I excitedly asked her to let me know when she had had the baby so I could visit her in hospital - of course I had no idea that she was reading into this Australian custom an offer to take care of everything when the baby was born. And, as the anticipated birth date was still about 4 weeks away, I fully expected that we would have the care of the other children sorted out, and that St Vincent de Paul would have brought around the clothing, nappies and cot which they had promised. Well, the best laid plans.

As she thought she was meant to do, Mum called me at 4.45am on 28 April - 3 weeks before her due date. The reason I knew it was her on the phone was not because she introduced herself, but because she was having a contraction at the time, and was panting down into the phone. I asked her if she had called the ambulance - response? NO. "Would you like me to call the ambulance?" - response? YES. Shaking like a leaf, I used my mobile to call the ambulance, while I kept her on my landline. I didn't know it at the time, but I gave the WRONG address to the ambulance staff - an administrative hitch of mammoth proportions, because, of course, they were driving up and down the still dark street for about 15 minutes, looking for a building that did not exist. In the meantime, I was trying, at a distance of about 55 km, to offer some comfort to a woman heavily in labour, and telling her that they would be there any minute! I don't know who was more stressed - her or me on the other end of the phone. In the end, after many calls to the ambulance, I asked the two oldest children to go downstairs and look out for it, and wave them down when they saw it. They did, and the ambulance officers arrived in the flat - just to tell me that they couldn't take the children to the hospital, because they had no child restraints. After much discussion about this, it was decided that a SECOND ambulance should be called, and, after a bit more waiting around, off to the hospital they all went.

After I hung up, I was so excited and nervous about the new baby, and, of course concern for the other three children with no one to care for them, that I jumped in my car and drove out to Blacktown Hospital to see if I could help with anything. Some things work quite slowly in hospitals - and, while Mum was in labour, and the children were being fed a hearty breakfast, the social worker FINALLY came down to talk to me. She had only recently taken on this family, and did not have any idea as to who could take care of the children - she was really lost for ideas. Mum was, between contractions, asking the children to ask me if I could take them. Of course, I couldn't because I don't have room for three boisterous, healthy children, and in the end I left the hospital to go into work, feeling very unsatisfied - the baby not being born at that time, and the children's care not being sorted out. However, those meetings I had had with Mum before this paid off, and I managed to give the social worker the names and phone numbers of some settlement officer contacts I had picked up during our visits - it really does pay to write everything down even if it seems quite insignificant at the time. I found out about 12 pm that day that a gorgeous healthy baby girl had been born, and as importantly, the social worker and others had worked out a very satisfactory placement for the three children. All I needed to do was harass St Vincents' to get the clothing and furniture up to the flat.

In the end, it really turned out to be a wonderful and satisfying outcome, and an experience which I will NEVER forget - despite all the glitches and hitches. Of course, Mum and I are the greatest friends now - we have celebrated all the children's birthdays in grand style this year, and the baby is the centre of attention at all our little "do's". We still haven't managed to get Mum's partner out from Guinea, but the papers have been sent off, and he is in the process of filling in all the forms.

The family is now up and running - all Mum's depression and despondency ended the day she had that little baby girl. She and her four children are typical, normal, energetic, happy and enthusiastic people - and I am full of hope for their future. They are settling into Sydney life better than I could ever have hoped, and I'm very happy for and proud of them. My one regret is that I can't do more - especially with regard to their education and sporting ambitions, but hopefully they have enough strength and determination to take full advantage of what is on offer.

I am now moving on, and will soon have another family, but I will always keep a special place for my second refugee family in my heart - we did share such a wonderful and personal experience, and I feel privileged to play a role in such a big part of that family's life. When I told Mum that I would continue to be her friend, but I wouldn't be visiting her much from now because another new family needed some support, she fully understood, and accepted it with much grace. And, of course, I fully intend to keep in touch for as long as they're around.

All the people I've met through my small role - the families, the other volunteers, the MRS team - have inspired and motivated me, and I would encourage anybody thinking about taking the plunge to just do it. It's always an adventure, and never dull.

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